Painting stars in the sky
/Edit.
(rolls eyes at ______.blogspot.com) like seriously, you're wierd. REALLY WIERD. Goodness.
I have good reasons why i like holidays and why i dont. More diary time maybe.
i neglected my diary for a long time. sucky penmanship maybeee...
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There was a crow at my window today. Scared me to death, i wanted to cry.
Charmaine called me a puppy, which is cute = ugly but adorable.
Im insulted.
They owe me. I was suppose to be in depression.
Im ugly. T.T
I will go for plastic when i grow up. :D Heehee.
And i will stay on my own soon. Rent a house when i get a stable job and pay. I hate to talk abt the future because i totally have no idea what i want.
Its really scary.
And most people think i really have things like together and im like fine and everything, but im like one of the few people that would totally fail in life and not live up to potential or like other people's expectation. And like not do things that i will enjoy and love to do. Sucks, but thats how i see myself and my life.
Being really honest here. sucks when no one really understands or like bothers to sympathise.
But thats ok.
Siow and Char will totally sympathise i know. Hahahaha. rightttt....
Sherilyn is too busy with Prelims.
Im considering not aiming for top5 JCs anymore. Like i should be more realistic. Like at this rate im going, seriously, will i even make it to TJ. Like i must really check myself constantly and ask myself the same questions. Like why after exams i never get the sure feeling of, good i nailed this paper, i think i'll do okay. No, its never this feeling. Maybe i should not ever expect good results, so when good results come it would be a pleasant surprise.
But its really a shit feeling when you're like waiting for results because there is always the possibility that everything can parachute down and you're like totally screwed up. Its like a sickness im suffering with. I cannot believe having to feel like "crap i think i totally screwed the paper" after o levels. I will cry my eyes out for the next three months.
Ok whatever i will like delete this sometime soon, and reflect more on stuff.
Think about things, what i want out of my life what i love doing, what im good at doing, and figure something out. 16 is not young anymore. Technically im 15. This makes me feel a bit better though. Haha.
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