Skylights

Im saving big bucks now.

For now till 13 November 2009, I will be on a mission to SAVE $$.

Plus my savings from past years, i can buy an Apple computer.

Mac something, If they dont come up with something awesome, i'd go for an Imac, All the other laptops are so ... Normal.

Of course i'd buy some other brands if they have cute Desktops.

And an Ipod... I know i've wanted an ipod classic since forever, but i still cant get down to buy it yet. Waiting and hoping for something better than the touch. The touch is not bad, but i want a 120GB one PLEASE. And its freaking EX. ):

And i have to redo up my whole room... That would take about 500 to 700 bucks maybe?

Foresee massive DIYs. Urgh. I need a designer, and that i cant pay for. I can do it myself, i'll never be able to finish 1 layout. I'd most prob hop to the next in like 10 mins.

Ok, Cash fall from sky now.

Im getting bored of blogger...

Should i 1. Put a tagboard, 2. Just close down this thingy, 3. Shift to Livejournal, or 4. Continue to be bored?

Oh yes, its the last day of Feb. FINALLY. Ironic how i Feb took so long to end. It seems its been febuary since eternity, and January was so swift. Lol!

March. FINALLY. March. 

I think i shouldnt watch perfect cut 2. I should like study and just keep Gossip Girl. But i wanna watch the chinese show, Together. I saw the advert on TV just now, kind of cute. 

WHY THE TEMPATION OF TV. WHY WHY WHY. DAMN.

Not tv means shopping, this is overwhealming man.

Not easy for me,

Im afraid i have no time to think. Why do we only have 24 hours a day?

Its not enough. Seriously. I have been in really deep thought for the past few days, thus getting nightmares everynight. Either im screaming in my dream or im crying. 

Disgusting.

I was so excited when i found out Privileged had an episode, and i still have 14.34 seconds to the end of the show and it freaking stalled. I had to watch the show twice because they debugged all of a sudden. So it had to reload.

Pshft.

And its still stalling, i think i'd watch another time. This is so annoying. I hate sec4 to the max. Seriously.

You just feel so uptight, so unaccomplished, so alone, so far away from God, so impossibly annoyed at little things, so immature, so useless, so outcasted, so different, so unloved.

And worse, so crappy because you know you can do better at certain things, but you're not, and because the grades you'll get now foretell the ones you'll get like in January 2010.

Things are so messed up, its totally impossible to fully enjoy a video without worrying if you're being too slacky and you'd fall behind. Im possible to enjoy a TV show, impossible to have a hobby, impossible to go shopping or watch a movie, impossible to do all these things that make you happy, without having a gruesome thought of October behind your head.

Why? Because there isnt enough time for studying, not to mention other things.

And that sucks, a whole lot. 

I wish i knew how to manage my time, thats something i havent learn to master in the 1.5 decades i was alive.

On a lighter note, Char told me H&M is comming to Singapore!! Yay, good affordable stuff finally! I hope they dont skyrocket the prices so ridiculously like they do in F21 here.

Can't wait!

Fusion 09

Im glad i went for Fusion. Went with Emmeline, Odelia, Cheryl and Cheryl's friend Fiona(I think its spelled this way.) Cheryl, I THINK i saw some one from LL, but then again, i always recognise wrongly.

Its sad that my church isnt methodist, but still, Fusion was great fun.

"Its the same God right?" -Quotes Calpurnia from TKMB. Lol!

Thankyou Odelia and your parents for sending me all the way home! 

Thankyou thankyou thankyou! I know its super far thank your parents again for me!

Planetshakers were AWESOME!

This is the time where i worshipped hardcore. Funny to have seen some dance people. Even though i dont like dance club as dance club and Chiam, i think the dance club people, as individuals are nice. Most of them. Some like i shall not name are super dao. So i'd rather not talk to them, since their nose enjoy sniffing cloud air.

Was telling Cheryl how cute the Planetshakers guitarist was! HEEHEE :D

And the blonde girl is so pretty, her voice is so stunning and unique.

The sermon guy was so funny!!! He can really reach out and touch people! Awesome Awesome Awesome night! Lets do this again next year!

I might just change to a methodist church man! Lol, Ok joking!

Church tomorrow plus chinese tuition and i'd better study a little bit for geog, if i can squeeze it in. Bedtime.

I need my aircon ): It broke down again!!

Note: Cheryl not from TK. Heh heh, i know upteen Cheryl(S)

Severe Addiction

Wasting time now. Lol.

Is suppose to complete my misc ex 18 of Amath since i didnt do it the other time, I have like 4 parts left. 4 qns. 

Lazy. And theres Geog test on Monday, which im a bit reluctant to study.

And also Physics, i havent started, but i would later.

Fusion in the evening. 

Yeap, and the next week arrives. Scary, the rate time flies by. When my level of productivity where life is concern is close to 0.

Urgh, Ok bye. I better finish up Amath before lunch, So i can do other stuff after.

Shd i quit chinese tuition? Think i'd fail HCL O's if i do? Dilema.

I pray God make GG season 2, 90210 season1 end by like ermmm... May. And season 3 be out in December. Thankyou! People please pray with me!

(90210insiders.com)

Eye candy! New 90210 character!!! Surprising how this is the first guy on 90210 i found cute.

Ty was good looking, but a jerk. Liam is smart, but please dont be a jerk!

Ok, i like ^ and Chace Crawford, Bye bye Jonas Brothers and Alex Pettyfer.

I think Privileged season 1 ended. Oh well.

:@

No shows! No more episodes of Privileged or 90210 or Gossip Girl UNTIL MARCH.

Gossip Girl is 16th! 90210 31st!! and Privileged no date. Speechhhlessssss!

OMG.

WHYYYYY ):

Urgh!

Nevermind i will continue cutting hearts and watch something else, which im trying to find.

Gloom.

Chasing Pavements

School has been wierd.

Im happy because,

1. Chem SPA shifted to term2 week2!

2. Xu Lao Shi is not coming tomorrow.

3. So is Mr Ang, and Mr Seah.

4. CAs are over and the results back are quite ok. So far.

5. Teachers marking very slowly.

Im not happy because,

1. Some one is super two face, making me annoyed.

2. Phy SPA is still in week9.

3. We still have somemore test next week.

4. Geog Test is NOT open book anymore ):

5. No Gossip Girl till 2nd March.

Oh save me, I need Gossip Girl. Its therapy. Addicted already, at least 90210 and Privileged is good therapy too, just that no one to talk abt it too. At least i can talk about GG to Jocelyn.

And poor Jocelyn is sick, get well soon!

K bye. Dream catchers.

Paranoia,

The Clique Movie Is Out!

YAY! JESSLYN SNG PLEASE GO AND WATCH! I SAW IT IN VIDEO EZY TODAY, I WANTED TO BORROW BUT I FORGOT MY VOUCHER ):

Lol! The cast look like a younger version of Gossip Girl's cute x100!

Thanks Odelia for saying i should be proud. Yes i think you should be at least contented with your grades (: Step by step, im sure this term you'd get A1 for phy. I mean 12/20 you can one lah! Haha. 

Ok, so i spent boring valentines day (Which have been for the last 16 years) cutting paper hearts. I have 100 of them to cut. Because my mummy took like 30 or smth for her form class. See i've got such a nice teacher mum. She gave the pretty hearts to her students for V'day. She wrote all their names and design the plain ones and gave to the class.

I dont see any of our teachers giving us presents... Oh well.

And Zara got ALOT of V'day gifts. Well quite alot. Haha. Food though. The school gave ALL the girls valentines day gift. Cool huh.

Therefore TKGS sucks. Lol!

Today in church while waiting for Charmaine,

Siow was like "So how? Your valentines day?"

Me: "No date lah, nothing, stay at home."

Siow: "Oh so sad (sacastic) wheres (person name)?"

Me: "That was one year ago!?"

Siow: "At least theres some one."

Hate you Siow! Hahah! And Siow insist i have no life. Miss Siow! I have a life, its kinda getting more vibrant with all the 90210, do you still watch? Please watch because Jessica Stroup (Silver) gets prettier and prettier, and THERE IS A NEW HOT GUY, BLUE DREAMY EYES! Which Naomi is attracted too. Haha!

All my shows are getting nicer! And GG had to go on hiatus. Urgh. Nevermind, i have 90210 and Priveleged.

So emm? Decided if you should create a new blog a not?

And i love my new keypad and screen. Heehee. My dad got a new keypad and it types really nicely. Smooth. Lol!  :D

Ok i have nothing to say already. Ew theres mock spa tomorrow. They claim spa helps to bring up our grades, oh i really hope so :/ i dont like spa. I wonder what i got for my first spa. Everytime i think about it i get scared... what if i didnt do well? That would really suck. So everytime i do practical i will think, and recall what happen during spa and all. Heh.

Dreamer,

4 hours straight of all the shows i sacrificed for CA. Was telling Jocelyn that GG didnt come out this week cuz we had CA and they didnt wanna make us feel sad.

Hahaha!

I think these shows like Privileged and 90210 make me think a lot. About deeper issues. Deeper issues regarding life. Well my life is like a bed of roses compared to theirs in the shows, like of course. With the exception of GG because GG is a little extreme and different. Something i cant relate to, but i enjoy tremendously.

I procrastinate too much. I have this absurd ability to shake off all the thoughts in my head. Which is both good and bad. Well now im not. Which equals to i was brooding and emo-ing half of today. Yepz. 

I always wonder what i'd become. What i'd do with my life. Plan-less. I need to think more.

Turn Away

I know i've screwed up pretty badly this term.

Okay i get it. Im not up to standard. For all my subjects.

But if any teacher thinks its because I dont care, or its because im overconfident. ITS NOT.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

I DO CARE OK. I CARE. I CARE A HELL LOT.

Im very affected by this. Im calmer now, compared to 20 mins ago where i made 2 absolutely long and angry post. Deleted though, dont need more trouble.

1. I know im making stupid mistakes in test, but im still doing fine. Yes i will buck up. Dont black mark me because im not getting highest.

Miss Yeo had no right to imply that I dont care about my results. Well maybe she didnt, but i wasnt the only one who felt she implied it to me/us.

The only 2 teachers who have absolute right to black mark me for anything, is Xu lao shi, and Mrs Loe, because my chinese cannot make it, and Lit i havent put in much effort.

2. Mr John, i dont care if you have issues, but stop picking on us. The whole class knows you're targeting odelia emm and I, for what reasons i dont know, and i dont care. But seriously. We're not the only ones talking in class, and other people (which you are bias towards) are also talking. So when you point fingers next time, watch where you point. I dont know what came over me, that i decided ask Odelia to not argue back. But the next time this happens, i swear i would blow.

3. Do not ever assume that im not putting in effort or i dont care about my grades. DONT EVER.

Both my parents dont even put that much pressure on me. I have my goals, i know myself, and i know what i want to acheive this year. I dont mind teachers putting pressure on me. Like Mr Seah kinda knocked some sense into me. Yeap. Even though it took a while to get through, but seriously, if all a teacher can say is "You dont care, you dont bother, people are improving you're not" then i'd rather he or she just shut up.

My goal JC is AndersonJC or SAJC. 

I wouldnt need miss yeo or mr john to like me, i dont need testimonials. If i cannot make it to Anderson or SA, then i would just got to Nanyang JC or join Emm and Ode in Meridian. (Nanyang cuz nearer my house compared to meridian)

I wouldnt bootlick Miss Yeo or Mr John to get a good testimonial either. Because i hate bootlickers. If you enjoy bootlicking so much, i can get rubber boots for you to lick. 

Short.

As im waiting for stupid slow hotmail to load, I shall blog. Mini post.

Sighz. Google Chrome is not as fast as it claims to be man.

I dont know what to say leh.

My brain is in a dream mode. Lolz.

Stupid hotmail. Damn slow.

The stars are holding you tonight

I feel so unaccomplished.

Like i try to study, but the time is just so tight. Im so drianed.

And i havent started on Geog. I only remember stuff that Mrs Khoo teach like vaguely.

How?! 

Feel like an idiot for taking so long to study up chem, AND IM NOT EVEN DONE.

And im barely done for physics either, thats worse, because i think phy test would be very hard.

So would be chem.

OMG. and Amath, and Emath, and Geog, and Lit.

Carina please dont screw up your first exam please please please please pleaseeeeeeee.

I just want to maintain my L1r5. Nothing extroadinary, dont need to top for anything. Just maintain the grades. Everyone is too mark obssessed. 

Like my EL compre wasnt fantastically done (Whats new.) So far both math are fine. And phyiscs i dont know what to say. Chem is errrr....

Nevermind la.

Dont say alr. 

To everyone: All the best, Jiayou!

Time and time again

Dear Time, 

Please be nice to me and all the people who need you. COME IN ABUNDANCE.

Some teachers can really be bitchy. Tsk, hopeless!

Man bitch, Female also bitch.

Sigh.

Today was a shocking day. Im still shocked people can be so blunt. :O

Was telling ZQ, Amanda and JY at the bus stop today how i hate people bragging about how much they have studied.

Like ok ok, study alr keep quiet lah. Dont go round "I finish this, i finish that, huh?! you havent started?!" Shut up lah, wha lao.

Study finish good for you, go go get your ALL A1 LAH. Dont have to announce to the world.

Im being so cranky now. Because of marks and stuff. In general. Not specific subjects, but regarding future and past. Not present. Presently i should be worried how i'd cram all the CA stuff in my head.

And i realise alot of people are gonna do well for physics. Cuz for formative test, our class average was like 16/20, so for CA get 27/40 and its like an A2. For A1, Its like 29.5/40 FOR AVERAGE.

I really dont like teachers who expect alot from students. Like if a student did well, so be it. Good for her, but it doesnt mean you have to put her down because she doesnt do well another time. Like shut up, the bad grade is already getting to her so leave your comments to yourself or something?! And teachers who like students just because they do well in exams/test. Cheat peoples feelings. I hope your feelings get cheated too! And teacher who look down on students because they dont speak with an accent (UTTERLY DISGUSTING IN MY OPINION)

I wonder why, we cannot speak singlish in singapore. I mean its OUR country, truth be told, everyone knows singlish is part of singapore's identity lah! I mean you think you high class so come here, and spite us, for living up to our own identity?! ERRRRR?! Not ironic meh?

Speechless.

Singlish is fine lorh. As long as we dont use in our compo can already la, you dont understand your problem mah. Not mine. Lol!

I keep using speechless nowadays, because 1. Time is precious dont waste it talking stuff. 2. I really am speechless. No time to think of what to say, Nothing to say, State of shock. Blah.

YEZ. 

Im done. Time to sleep ): TIMEEEEE....

Left Behind

Sucks to be.

I still want to look on the bright side, for i hope its unitentional.

Maybe its inevitable, still I think everything would turn around.

I'd be one of you again, i'd be included.

Not constantly reminded of how different we are, how im always by the sidelines.

But its not anybody else's fault at all, Cuz thats a fact, an upsetting and horrible fact i have to face with. Because the problem lies in me.

Schools been unmerciful and harsh this week.

Test, Results, Words, Actions.

Im not bummed out yet, being optimistic helps, to a certain extent.

Maybe all the fault lies with me.

Yeap.

I have so much bottled up feelings i wished to share. I just cant find the words to string them up.

Its just the kind of timing when you wish the people that you care for, and treasure can understand you.

I hate to Emo. I'd stop by tmr. Lol.